I bought a bottle of wine on Saturday. Okay, I bought seven bottles of wine, a bag of bourbon roasted, whole bean coffee, and a supersize pot roast. They were out of eggs and I couldn’t remember the main thing that I went to buy, which was ice. It happens. Don’t get judgey. I saw the three grapefruits and 12 packs of Diet Pepsi, Orange Sunkist, and Corona Light in your cart. Pickings were skinny and these are weird times. I respect your bravery. Everyone else at The Pig was afraid to touch that beer.

I chose one of the bottles of wine as I choose most things, because of its pretty packaging. It had a lovely lady with a cascading red dress on the label and I liked the name, “Intrinsic.” I kept saying in my mind like Buddy the Elf said, “Francesco.” It has the right crunch for a three-syllable word and mentally chewing on it made me happy.

According to Webster’s, (kidding, y’all,) I used the Google, intrinsic means, “belonging naturally, essential.” Isn’t that the best word? I can think of so many things that feel intrinsic to me: my smokin’ hot love biscuit, my children, most physical movement, my cousins, being outside, laughter, salt air, friendships, writing. It is the common core of one’s being, this delicious word, intrinsic.

Perhaps this meaning and my enchantment with the things I consider intrinsic to my soul is why I have been struggling with another word, Covid-19, aka, Novel Coronavirus. It is extrinsic. It is an outsider, a ravager, an isolator, a divider. It is causing people, communities, countries, continents to break down and break apart. It is causing people to hoard, accuse, shame, and blame. It is causing people to lose jobs and possibly homes, cars, lives. It is causing illness and death. It is causing alarm and fear. It is causing people to say bad things. 

It is the bad-sayers that I am now addressing. I hope you are just being careless and frustrated and don’t truly mean your words. Because if you do, you should take them back, for real, take them all the way back down your lips, teeth, tongue, throat, larynx. Eat them back, chased with some Dial soap for an oral and moral cleansing.

I am guessing you picked up on my sensitivity. I am at risk for Coronavirus. I am as healthy as I can possibly be. I have a pre-existing condition. I can’t help any of these things. I am still running with my friends and going to the grocery store. I am washing my hands and keeping my distance. I love physical touch. It is hard not to hug, but I am not touching others. I am sheltering in place, marking time in the marching band of life, cooking and listening to John play guitar. Things are not so horrible.

I am also aware that it is entirely possible that I have or have had the virus and didn’t have any symptoms. I could have been country before country was cool, if you catch that old reference. Any of us could fall into this category. I worry about that. I want to do good in the world and I also want to participate in nonmaleficence. Just like those sworn in the medical field, I first desire to do no harm.

And, we are human. That is a hard feat to accomplish 100%. I have given others a cold and the flu. I have gotten behind the wheel after too much alcohol. I have broken promises. I have knocked people down and spilled things and gotten speeding tickets. I have had unprotected sex. I have messed up. I have been at fault in an accident. I have made bad decisions. I have hurt others. I am neither proud nor perfect. Most of this wasn’t on purpose and I feel remorse and regret. Some of the things on my mess up list could be attributed to ignorance, some to stupidity. For many I suffered consequences and for most I got grace, sweet grace.

Most of us get the glorious chance to learn lessons and make new mistakes. This yields humility, served to you on the silver platter of mercy.

As we navigate through these brutal times and learn to hold the light for one another to cross to the other side of 2020’s generous helping of ignorance and stupidity, let’s show encouragement and compassion. Let’s do our best to model and coach to a shared place of kindness, cooperation, and collaboration. This is a live, impromptu taping, unscripted and unrehearsed.

And, please remember, that philosophies and phrases like “thin the herd,” apply to people like me. I am the herd. We all are.